Ryan’s Story #findyourinnerwarrior
This is Ryan. He is a 27 year old primary school teacher that loves being active, in particular football and martial arts. At the age of 23 Ryan had just finished his NVQ qualification to become a teacher, he was healthy and having the time of his life until it completely changed. He randomly started to get pains in his back and went to the doctors to try and figure out why it was hurting. They came up with several different reasons and tried doing a lot of tests but they still couldn’t figure out what was wrong. After a month of tests and no clear results Ryan suddenly started to get pains in his stomach as well. While testing this the doctors eventually figured out that he had testicular cancer and due to the length of time it took to diagnose it the cancer was quite far gone. Ryan’s initial thoughts were of confusion. He didn’t smoke or drink excessively (which increase your chance of getting cancer) and he had a healthy lifestyle so how could he have got it. After that there was a huge wave of fear that came over him because he was so uncertain about his future and what his life would be like.
Not only this but a couple of weeks later his twin brother got diagnosed with a different type of cancer. Ryan said that it was even worse watching someone you love go through it, than going through it yourself because you feel so helpless. However in a way because they went through this experience together they were there for each other and both understood what the other was going through which helped. He mentioned a lot that he would not have got through all the treatments and surgeries without the support of his family and girlfriend. His mum took a year off work and moved down to London to be there for him, she was at every hospital appointment and stayed by his side every day. She motivated him to even do simple things like drink water and go for a walk down the corridor. Even these small tasks were incredibly difficult for him while going through chemotherapy as the chemicals they give you make your body incredibly weak.
He often felt like just sleeping all day and not doing anything as he didn’t have the energy but this made him feel lower mentally and he did think at points that he may not make it. However Sophie (his girlfriend) constantly spoke to him about their future after he recovers, about the house they would live in and the family they would have. This made the world of difference and gave him a lot of hope that he would get through this. After conversations with her he would feel more motivated to do everything he could to take care of his body and be as strong as he could.
Ryan having cancer did not only affect him but also the people around him. While he was going through treatment they were all very strong for him but he said he only recently learnt their side of the story. His mum and girlfriend would sometimes come home and cry and his brother had even written out his Eulogy because there were times they didn’t think he would make it and they felt helpless too.
During treatment Ryan was offered all kinds of counselling to help with his mental health and to help him come to terms with what he was going through. He felt that he did not want to talk to anyone about it especially not a professional because how could they really know what he was going through? He also didn’t reach out to anyone that had been through the same thing even over social media. Ryan isolated himself and had tunnel vision that he had to focus and get through this without talking about it. He admitted to me that usually he is a sensitive guy but for some reason he felt he had to handle this differently. In hindsight he feels that if he had reached out to other support groups it may have helped him through his treatments.
However after going through this experience he finally came out the other end and is now in remission. He said he has anxieties that not only will the cancer come back to him but that something will happen to the people he loves as well because it happened to him all of a sudden. As well as this the recovery time for your body after all these treatments can be quite long therefore he does get frustrated with himself when his body can’t do all the things it used to such a play football the same. Despite this he is very grateful to have got through what he did and he was lucky enough to have the support of this family for that. Many people may not have the same support system which is why Ryan and his brother have created an Instagram and Facebook page called @cancerlads. This is for any men who are going through cancer or anyone that has family members that are going through it as well. They openly share stories and if anyone has any questions people are always willing to offer advice. It is a supportive community where struggles and mental health can be spoken about freely so please give it a follow if you need to. If you have been affected by this story you are welcome to message @cancerlads or @askariclothing and we will help in the best way we can.